Austin's Fatal Truth

A few years back, before going to college but after graduation high school, I threw myself into the workforce to buy myself some time. I really needed to think about what it was that I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I wasn't sure I'd make it long being a backroom truck unloader that holiday season at The Christmas Tree Shops, but I learned one thing for certain. That was who I was going to be for the rest of my life. Meet Tony.

      Delete me. In a world of liars, phonies, and half truths, I'd like to get real. To say that I'm fed up at this current point in my life would be a ghastly understatement... Not that anybody that even MIGHT be reading this really remotely gives a shit. Which, in a way, is good. Because, I've decided to shut most of you out of my life in many ways.

Vladimir Putin is undoubtably one of the most polarizing individuals in any government body today. From his militaristic approach of Russian nationalism, to his most humble diplomatic tendencies around the globe, President Putin is someone nearly every human on Earth has an opinion on. I am no different in this matter. I'm willing to bet that unlike most Americans, I believe President Putin to be the most important world leader in the last twenty years. If I haven't lost you yet, give me a chance to explain why... 

On the verge of going on a family vacation seems like the silliest time to realize just how minuscule my life has become. I should be excited to be on the beach, without a care in the world, for the next week. However, that isn't really the case for me. A week is nice, but that week comes and goes. Vacation for me, in July of 2017, is only a temporary fix to a more permanent problem that I've continually faced.

For this entry, I figured I'd write out some of the life questions I've struggled with. This is one is for those late-night over-thinkers like me who go from hanging up with a loved one to rethinking your entire existence and current life situation. It sucks, but it happens to everyone, in some capacity. In order to deal with these episodes (that I've had my whole life, mind you), I'm going to attempt to explain the most common late-night thoughts that plague me, and how I attempt to talk myself through them... Especially at the least opportune time, usually around two in the morning, especially when tomorrow is going to be an early day at work!

I hate it. I hate everything it represents. I hate the smells it comes with. I hate how much it changes people. Most of all, I hate how people think it's no big deal. So, to all you pot zombies out there, this one's for you. To all the family and friends (that I currently know of) smoking pot, it sickens me that I know the strength each of you hold and yet you consistently choose to be weaken by such a nasty, mind-melting habit. Save the excuses, too. I've heard them all. Don't try and defend your actions either. You can't. It seems everybody has some kind of excuse as to why they smoke or use marijuana, with self medicating and recreation among the most common. I plan to address each excuse individually. Another thing most users do is try and defend their usage with non-facts and half-assed explanations. These, I also plan to address.