Let's Reconnect
It's been awhile since the last time I really sat down and shared exactly where I'm at in life. Lately, I've just felt so disconnected, with time seemingly slipping away quicker and quicker. Maybe now is the perfect time to slow down just a long enough to catch my breath, formulate a somewhat reflective thought, and attempt to reconnect...
You know, I've often romanticized the idea of being this enigma. I've almost strived to be a man of elusiveness, of slight mystery. Despite that, the truth is, being utterly transparent has always made me the happiest.
I've always found it supremely rewarding to connect with people on a level that would have otherwise been unreachable, had I not opened up about a certain personal topic or experience. I suppose that's what genuine relationships are all about, right?
Well, in an effort to reconnect, I have to tell you this year has been a tidal wave thus far...
To kick off 2026, I was at serious odds with my parents.
In life, we almost always forget that certain things are simply out of our control, including the decisions of others. At the beginning of the year, I found myself more than disappointed with certain decisions made by my parents in regards to feelings of desperation expressed by my younger brother. By mid January, the situation came to ahead. I stepped up to the plate and really went to bat for my brother and his feelings, more so than I ever had before.
In doing so, I also cut off contact with my parents completely. I went from speaking to my mother at least once daily to, consciously, nothing at all... for months. In that situation, instead of escalating things, I just decided to disconnect. I feared things would be said that would lead to regret from both sides later on. On top of that, I really felt my voice wasn't being heard. I was experiencing generational stubbornness directly, a first with my parents in my adult life.
So, I searched for my own peace in solitude.
If I couldn't help or make any positive headway, I wasn't even going to try. A wasted effort would've just led to more hurt feelings in my mind. In meantime, my relationship with my younger brother was in the strongest place it had ever been.
Then, in February and for the third consecutive year, Katie and I visited Japan.
I'm sure the negativity surrounding the situation with my parents didn't help, either.
That said, we still had a blast of a time and saw and did more in two weeks than any normal travellers would. We went from the bottom of an ice cave deep within the legendary Aokigahara Forest (located at the base of Mt. Fuji), to the mystifying sea of trees that make up Kyoto's famous Arashiyama Bamboo Forest. We enjoyed plenty of new Japanese foods, culture, wrestling events, theme parks, and scenery.
With another dream trip in the books, 2026 was off to a big start. Despite me taking it a bit for granted and maybe not appreciating it as much as I had before, I still love Japan. Make no mistake. I'd still move to Japan... and no matter how many times Katie says no, I am still going to ask to do so.
Then March popped up and I was slowly talking to my parents again.
Two months may seem like nothing to many, but for us, it was like two years had gone by. I was more than hesitant when it came to opening that door again, even refusing to do so on several occasions where my mother had tried to reach out. I think I just finally came to terms with where we were all at in life. They were never going to change... and neither was my brother, nor I. Things will probably never be where they were between us (prior to January of 2026), we were finally back on speaking terms, and that was better than nothing.
To put it simply, my parents are part of a generation that has four rules for sharing feelings:
- If you're a 'Man's Man', you don't do it.
- Speaking about them doesn't help.
- If the feelings make me feel uncomfortable, don't bring them up.
- When in doubt, rebuttal, rebuttal, rebuttal.
With that in mind, I largely let a lot go unsaid. Going back to my original point, sometimes we just have to accept that certain things are out of our control. As much as I wanted to control, contain, or fix the situation between my parents, my brother, and I... I couldn't.
It was best for all to just move from that point forward.
Then, a scheduled trip to Indianapolis, Indiana that was planned late in 2025 arrived at the end of March.
It was a perfect reconnecting moment, as I had decided to push myself to solo attend a pro wrestling convention. There, I was able to meet several wrestlers I had enjoyed watching over the years, most importantly, the legendary Great Muta, and wrestling personality / NBA bad boy, Dennis Rodman.
Muta was someone who was instrumental in fostering my interest in Japan and Japanese professional wrestling. He was on top for most of his career, calling his own shots in most of the places he worked. He influenced more wrestlers than most and is a man I deeply respect for dedicating his life and his body to pro wrestling. He is one of my favorites of all time and having the chance to meet him didn't fall lightly on me.
For Rodman? Rodzilla? Talk about a dude that influences me to this day... I think the thing I connect most with Rodman on, is his use of shock value. Being characteristically unpredictable is something I envy and even try to keep a pulse on. Simply, I don't like to fall in any one particular box. Dennis Rodman is the embodiment of that 'outside the box' persona. He has consistently chosen his own path, something I strive to do everyday.
Meeting these guys, along with spending some away time with Katie and Owen, unexpectedly helped recharge my batteries. My little family and a few of the guys that have inspired me in life was all I really needed right then and there.
So then, in April, I decided to delete my social media.
I had taken extended breaks and walked away before, just never actually deactivated or deleted my profiles. This time, I felt I a need for finality.
After thinking about it, I couldn't really come up with enough positives to have it continue to consume so much of my time. Scrolling through politic arguments, targeted ads, social agendas, and negative opinions all hidden as 'a way to connect with friends' just wasn't doing it for me anymore. The plasticity of it all had finally shown all the way through for me in April.
Once again, I felt the need to disconnect.
Almost above all else, I consider myself to be a genuine article and what you see with me is what you get. I don't shy away from the few things I firmly believe in. Social media is more of a facade than nearly anything else we have been accustomed to experience in life. If comparison is the thief of joy, then social media is the car it drives.
Seriously, I'd rather not compare, nor keep up.
If I hadn't needed social media for my career in sales and marketing nearly my entire adult life, I wouldn't have had it at all. My profiles may be reactivated now, but I don't ever plan to have the apps on my phone again. I use social media strictly as a tool now. Mindless on-the-go scrolling is done for me. I've broken that chain and I really, really don't plan on ever going back.
Miss me? Show up in my driveway, shoot me a text, or write me a fucking letter.
I really wish it was still as simple as that.
Speaking of which, I also celebrated another birthday in April.
If there's one thing I've learned since my last one, it's that seriously, genuinely, all I'll ever need is my little family. Katie, my wife, and Owen, my little boy. As long as that little unit is entact, nothing can stop me. Now more than ever, I have laid all my chips on that table... right next to the ice cream cake.
Friendships? Backseat.
Extended family? Backseat.
Nothing means more to me than them.
My happy place is there, so I have really shifted my focus this year in a big way. I've distanced myself from people in a lot of ways, just choosing to spend my energy where it is deserved most. I'm sure people who used to have bigger roles in my life have noticed. I can't say that I really feel bad about it, either. I've stopped extending my efforts to stay connected to those who don't deserve my time as much as my family does.
Bluntly, I've become disenfranchised with many of my friends that knew past versions of me.
We all have lives to live and I'm just now prioritizing mine more than ever. I have quietly faded away from former coworkers, friends in my hometown, and old family friends. The healthiest relationships will survive but beyond that. For the rest, I just feel I've crossed into that next phase.
Which brings us all the way up to May. Right now.
With a busy summer ahead of me, I'm looking to the future saying, man, it isn't that far away.
What I value most right now are the relationships that fuel me, help me grow, help me learn, and make me feel better. A special 2026 shoutout goes out to a few people:
- To my cousin, Robert, who has always been a respite for a tired mind.
- To my brother, Blake, who I feel I know and clearly understand now.
- To my wife, Katie, for always seeing the good in things and people, me included.
- To my son, Owen, for being my sunshine everyday. The light at the end of every day's tunnel.
- To my sister-in-law, Brittany (and her boyfriend, Rav), for always showing us a good time.
... and lastly, me, myself. For sticking through it so far. Keeping true to who I am, even when my foundations are shaken. For reevaluating my time and where it is spent.
Now, I feel okay. Not great. Not bad, but really okay.
This year has let me down a lot, shown me a lot, and yet still promises me so much more. Tuning out all the outside noise has really helped quiet things down, further gearing me up for the second half of what 2026 has in store. In stepping back from so many things this year, I feel I'm slowly reconnecting with me.
Which is why, if you've read this far,
I hope you feel a little more reconnected to me, too.
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